Do you see this image?

Most of you will only see a funny photoshop from KYM about the Quinnspiracy scandal. But I see a story fitting for Warhammer 40 000. One of revenge, hope, bloodshed, betrayal and heartbreak.

The Dark Eldar, led by Wytch Champion Quinn, had ravaged entire planets through a vile series of rapes and manipulations, forcing the Imperial populations to be brainwashed and silenced, if not tortured for months to death. The Inquisition began to suggest that Exterminatus would be the only hope to stop the rampaging Dark Eldar from reaching Holy Terra. But one new of Space Marines, The Liebreakers, took on the task to save the population.

This impossible task would be lead by one of the most recent, but outstanding men to ever wear power armor.

Chapter Master Jonas Jafari!

Starting out as a regular Marine, he showed his worth to the Imperium and his undying loyalty to the common man and The Emperor, standing alone against a horde of retarded Orks, defeating them with a few words of power along with his familiar Jaques. Though he had to appoligise for making light of the conflict between Judael and Islastina, he had proven that he was more than enough to lead the new chapter.

Hearing of the Dark Eldar invasion during a meeting, he stood up and exclaimed “I AIIIIINT HAVING THAT SHIT!” and gathered his most trusted company, along with a couple of fellow allies for the counterattack.

Among the many Liebreaker Marines, a few stood out more than the others.

Battle-Brother Matt The Silent: Having tried to fight of the raid of Quinn by himself, he had his throat slit and tongue torn out by the Kotaku Squad, her most trusted servants and was left to die. He survived, now fueled with everlasting hatred for the Dark Eldar, smiting them without a single word. His guns will do all the talking he needs.

The Aristocrat Librarian: The greatest Librarian in the chapter. He was not the first to discover the corruption that the Quinn invasion was causing, but he was the one who was able to spread the word to hundreds of planets more than any other person, saving millions of guardsmen and curing thousands from the Eldar mindwashing. His psychic powers will be needed for such a battle.

Captain Quadro Chanus: The most experienced and strongest warrior in the chapter. A psychopath of epic proportions. His countless battles and impossible feats of bravery have secured uncountable victories for the Imperium. Most men and even many Space Marines know that it is suicide to get on his bad side, knowing how he alone has wrecked entire words when angered. Xenos, Chaos, heretics and even allies who are not careful enough. Nobody is safe from him. However, in recent times there has been some concern, with people wondering if he is showing the Dark Eldar sympathies due to having removed some documents about their crimes. His long list of achievements is the one thing that keeps him from being branded as a traitor. That and the fact that no sane person would ever bring these accusations to his face.

The Cynical Dreadnought: Once a traitor marine who was promised eternal orgies and power if he joined the Quinn raid. In the nick of time, right as he was about to accept the offer, a vision from The Emperor himself made him see how he was being lied to. Doing his best to fight them off, he was crippled and gutted, left for dead. He was found by fellow Marines who forgave his crimes and put him in a Dreadnought. Now, the only thing that can grant him pleasure is the dying screams of Dark Eldar.

Battle-Brother Redditus: A man who for the longest time has had the greatest of hatred towards the Dark Eldar and their manipulative tactics, long before Quinn came along. Yet, he was not one to become a Space Marine, enjoying his life of spreading the word of how the Eldar sympathizers would be betrayed by the Xenos in the end. That was until the Polygon Fleet came along and destroyed all of his precious works. You get one guess on how well he took this.

Having gathered all of the combatants, Jafari let out a mighty and hearty belch before telling his allies “Ok, real talk? Let’s fuck ‘em up!”. Rushing to their battleships, the made their way to the next targeted planet of the Quinn Raid. They witnessed how the population was ravaged by the Dark Eldar, being fed lies about “xenophobia”, “bigotry”, “ableism” and “human Privilige”. Jafari, Not able to stand this disrespect towards humanity, made the main battleship land upon the head of a Dark Eldar Commander before stepping out, starting the bloody defense for humanity.

The smaller ships, commanded by Flight Captain Pleb Starchest of the Imperial Guard, made precise strikes upon the enemy on the ground. Matt The Silent turned the Sociali Justicari Warriors into gore with his heavy bolter, not uttering a word from the carnage. The Aristocrat Librarion used his bolter and psyker powers in order to decimate the Banshees, blowing up their heads with his thoughts alone. The Cynical Dreadnought, refusing to allow his fellow Marines to fall to the same temptations that he did, wrecked the Tweeting Seducers, breaking them in his steel grip. From a distance, Redditus sniped the Quinn Psykers, picking them off one by one, avenging his ruined tomes. Quadro, witnessing one of his most hated foes, Philik The Man-Fisher, roared and laughed at the opportunity to butcher him with his bare hands as he mowed through hundreds of Eldar in order to reach him. Once he was close enough, he tore Philik to shreds, letting him suffer through all of it. Chapter Master Jafari was withstanding countless attacks from the Quinn soldiers that he slew without any difficulties, even taking mighty blows from the Wytch Champion herself without flinching, smiling through all of it with a victorious grin.  Outside of this picture, Battle-Sister Draematica from the Sisters of Battle and Coolia Modus from The Blood Ravens took turns on raping Dobson The Blue in the ass and mouth, an aborted talking fetus of Tzeentch and Slaanesh that keeps smugly crying “JUST AS PLANNED” even when he had no plan at all going into the battle, being fucked to death painfully. The two rapists hated eachothers, but they hated daemons more.

The battle had a rocky start. At some early points it even looked as if the Dark elder might win as Quinns ships fired more powerful shots. But The Liebreakers fought on, turning the tide and sending thousands of Dark Eldar retreating.

But then Jafari heard something. Something he had not heard in years. A mind-scarring shout that he knew all too well, sending many marines to their knees:  http://youtu.be/SW33qFi28d0?t=42s

Jafari could not believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. His disappeared friend, Hanson The Chinless, had returned, dressed in the armor of the Dark Eldar.

Jafari had for months heard rumors that Hanson had fallen victim to the Keeper of Secrets known as Sarkeesian, whispering her foul spells to the fellow Marines. He had heard rumors how he was worshipping Chaos and losing his faith in The Emperor. For the longest time, Jafari thought that it was all lies from jealous Marines and guardsmen. How could someone who was a partner of the Deathwatch member Spaz The Kid, a friend of the EXTREMLY xeno-hating Deathwatch champion Shaddai, be a traitor? But it was true. Jafari now knew that he had to slay his closest friend, the closest thing he has ever had to a brother. His fellow Grump.

Though The Chapter Master was still smiling, rushing towards Hanson with his powersword in the air, ready to slay the heretical xeno-lover with one fell swoop, his heart was breaking inside.

After a brutal fight between he two factions, with Dark Eldar gore and limbs coverin the entre planet, the Space Marines were victorous, driving back the remainin foes. Captain Qaudro held the head of Quinn in his hands as humaity cheered. Another victry for the Imperum of Man. On The Golden Throne , The Emperor shed a tear of joy.

Only one marine was no longer smiling. And that was the Chapter Master. Holding the broken and shattered corpse of his former friend, Hanson, he fell to his knees, the full impact of what he had done to save humanity having just hit him. 

Jafari let out a cry of pure sorrow. One of a man who had slain his brother. One of a soldier who has been betrayed by his closest friend, his soulmate. One that echoed through the entire sector. One that brought tears to even the coldest of Inquisitors. One that would be remembered for millenia to come: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKc7f0k_g9w

So ended the greatest battle of The Liebreakers.

In The Grim Darkness of The Far Future…there is Only War.